Monthly Archives: July 2019

Dear God,

In my mind, I’ve come across the world-shakingly staring at all the tiny things that stays the same, the blue-eyed sky, milkweeds tall as people, always moving towards me. I thought maybe just maybe, I’m not asking God the right questions

and somehow guilt plasters its weight on to my body in good fat, lard, ghee, avocado oil, more importantly, the stain of its fear pressing into the church clothes I don’t know how to get rid of, so I wear them. Sunday’s peasant dress tuck into tub ware,  deportations -small – small helpless children, high heel, black pumps – I know what its like mothers are gone (sold away  ) I know what its like being in another country, not from the one you came- sister somewhere, mama -somewhere, and then there’s me, six generations later

sister’s house was raided I was too far away- God seemed further and all she wanted was a home, all I wanted was a goal that she could be proud of. When asked she’ll tell you all that’s behind her now, she’s moved on…

I ‘ve gone back to God persistently asking …

there’s no time be concerned with niceties, 

God and church are not one and the same

I do believe God understands my rage,

God meets me on my street, in my home

where the air is not so clean, pass the bodega and the meat shop

right over 21st street.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bones I am becoming:

In myself, now that I am enough

I still smell the wide eye ashes that swing in mid-summer

jealous rains that stir up tornadoes with rage and determination

determined to disrupt everything we’ve been planting

determined to stay longer than I intended

rational about my thoughts

what they use to say- darkie, cooning-Negra

I pay that no-never mind these days, what I am…

don’t get me wrong, I still melt when I hear those words but,

the bones I am becoming, are welded in bones of stone

a hue of splendor, dashingly dark red lit with determination

small fame, now that I enough, I don’t need hormones to be tall

or cat-eye lashes to be seen

now that I am enough,

my words are enough

my voice is enough

my shout is resurrected

my stance is secure

my purpose is steadfast

my prayer is fervent

my joy is made whole

now that I am enough… Kindness sis Krissy