Writing myself whole, was never about fixing myself . More so, it is about being myself. Nurturing without judgment. Self -acceptance at a deeper level. Not waiting for the world to accept me. In that notion, I now have the courage to accept my past as sacred, like the cocoon of the butterfly.
This is the raw material of the journey, the mere process of being carried by the light. Excuse me, let me rephrase, allowing the light to carry me. Like silk is spun in the darkness.
The light was always around me. The light was always willing. Waking me up in the morning. Glaring down on me in the afternoon. It’s just- I’m more receptive to its beams, allowing its rays to engulf the beauty of my dark circles -of Who and what I am to yet become. As the old gospel blares its horn, “walk in the light, the beautiful light shines all around us by day and by night. ”
Nurturing my own darkness is just as important as nurturing the light. One day I woke up with that epiphany that darkness and light must always walk together. Or we wouldn’t have the one without the other.
I can hear my great-Aunt Yula speaking to me in her low-husky 101 age -old- whisper “now “babie, you can’t go off and have sun without the- Good-lord’s-rain, ain’t no sense in thinking, you gonna grow up with God’s good, not the bad times too babie, so just hush-up now ” Crying on my good china. I could’ve set out the paper plates for all that”
I’d just laugh and whimper a little more….
We need the night, just as much as we need light. In the past I wanted to hide from my problems, separate myself from the issues. And when I couldn’t I’d justify why things couldn’t be more wholesome in my life. Believe me, I had a long iron-clad list.
When I say I’m better now, I’m on the journey of embracing, gaps in my teeth, my brown skin. And that’s just the surface, working on the inner parts of knowing I’m on the verge of the Great Love Spirit, of all life, all good ,all kind, all miraculous and as much as I hate to admit that means all the hell I’ve gone through, and everything in between.
This is Great-love- Spirit- revelation,
in that the pendulum swings hard in both directions.
And through- it- all, light is still there to carry us.
fire was there, to teach me how I burn,
clean and miraculous down to the bone.
and never forget its’ rage,
That same rage taught me
that love is a rage too,
love hard,
love inch by inch,
down to the bone.
A Poet's Vision 
Always love about and am wildly supportive of inner work! Yesss! You’ve got this!
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thank you so much, I truly appreciate you more than you know, many blessings to you πππππππΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉ
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π₯°πΆπΆ I believe I understand! Youβve got this!βοΈπΉ
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Pingback: ReBlogging ‘Day6 #WritingMyselfWhole : Light, Love and Darkness-Down to the Bone’ – Link Below | Relationship Insights by Yernasia Quorelios
ππ€π You are coming with it! I love this!
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aw, thank you TrE πππππππππππΉπ
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Embracing your whole self through the whimpers and laughs. π₯ππ Oh, what the lessons of life continue to teach us! Beautifully delivered Krissy! ππΌπππΌ Embrace those imperfections that have personally designed the perfect child that God created you to be. ππΌππ€πππ―
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Amen to that, and that’s a fact!!!! πππππππππππΉππ»ππΏππππππ
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Your reflection made me think of something I read a long time ago, about a man who thought once some great suffering was past, he’d move into a period of unfettered joy. Which didn’t happen. He came to realize that joy and sorrow are like train tracks, running side by side. One may predominate at times, but the other is still there. The deeper our sorrows, the deeper our capacity for joy.
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I love your Great-Aunt Yula’s words, βnow βbabie, you canβt go off and have sun without the- Good-lordβs-rain, ainβt no sense in thinking, you gonna grow up with Godβs good, not the bad times too babie, so just hush-up now.β We all need to accept that we have light and dark, day and night, good and bad, and that can only be a good thing as long as we are honest with ourselves. Working on our inner selves is so much more challenging than working on our physical parts. And you, Krissy, are a beautiful woman, inside and out. Thank you for sharing this. πβ£π
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thank you so much Ellie, I appreciate this so much you are so kind, indeed it is the inner battle we face -everyday ππ
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Oh, yes. And so wonderful to set out those paper plates! Thank you for the story and the poem, the fine lines of the words and the video, then back to the wisdom gained in your still-very-young days and the end again with Great Aunt Yula and all she sees.
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yes indeed! thank you Maren ππ
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I trust you’re right where you need to be right now. The wisdom has been a constant in your life, from your aunt Y, say, and while some might not have made sense then, the time has come when it’s just what you need to remember. How lucky you are. That unconditional guidance. That’s how life unfurls. All you went through brought you to now, “babie” and you know it. I bless you for heeding to the light. Stay in the light, Krissy. You will be okay. I trust.
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Amen, & I shall do just that… thank you for much for adding your wisdom as well ππππππππππ
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