As the morning moves the blues clean into hiding and my tears have prayed me- even before I did Marvin Gaye’s words prove to be the latest gospel “oh mercy, mercy me, things ain’t what they used to be”
The soul of America, has a hole where there used to be a heartbeat the heartbeat of souls slowly dripping over yonder- the blood of worshipers’, the blood of grocery store shoppers’ , the blood of morning commuters’, the blood of protesters’,
the blood that gives me strength, blood that holds whole families together the blood of day to day, and their blood still cries out from the ground
this is the ache of darkness we are forced to sit with it, the ache we can’t swallow, because our throats are hard like stone,
so I must tell you, as I must tell myself, don’t hold your breath don’t hold back the tears that follow don’t cut the black bird’s song in mere and morrow
let the song bleed you let this prayer, pray you let these words hug you tightly til you do
I wanted to count the days a little longer. Stay under the brightness of the winter-storm. Snow and sun, and snow, slightly picking up mesquite winds. Although our worlds are shifting.
Our Merciful prayers have never been the same. The baby birds were cooing underneath the misty drizzle. The temperatures steady but dropping. The sky and I, weeping over something weak and terrible.
I think we were enjoying too much of self pity as of late. Tasting salt droplets, like leftover pudding. Cream still there just harder, firmer now. Puppy wrinkles for eyelids and the sky too. Didn’t seem to matter much. Neither one of us seem to help the other.
Then my soul goes off without me, as if it should, wondering about darkness, sickness bending one and the same ashy-twig, frantic but holding.
Dear God, the weakness inside my soul seeps out like weeds.
the needs of your people, ever-growing but God, this is where you crack our heads open with miracles unfolding.
I am Eva -former refugee, doctor and a writer. My parents were Holocaust survivors, I escaped communism. I wrote a novel, mixing family stories and fiction. A novel about Holocaust, communism, racism and emigration. What makes people leave, and what happens to the ones who do, and to the ones who stay. I believe these old stories are more important now than ever before.